The Right Girl – Timothy Hayes

By Tim Hayes

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.”

I wish I knew who said that. Some may read a touch of sexism into that quote, but I see and hear it more as a grateful and appreciative ode to the female of the species. In my experience, it’s the women who most unselfishly prove courageous, who most unfalteringly speak the truth, and who most unerringly know the right thing to do in any situation. Almost to the point of stunned disbelief on my part.

Of course, the two women I’ve seen in action more than any others have been my mother and my wife – two ladies to whom I owe damn near everything, my mom during the formative years of keeping me safe and showing me how to be a responsible person of faith, and my wife as my trusted, beautiful, and beloved co-pilot for going on 39 years now, since we met the second day of college as freshmen.

I love to hear stories of how couples met, especially long-time veterans who have been together for decades. There’s something about meeting the right girl that changes everything. For some couples, like my wife and me, it happens like a bolt of lightning – you just know. I may have given her a ring after more than three years of dating, but I had asked her and she agreed to marry me after three weeks. We were 17 years old.

For others, it happens differently. I think of the movie, “When Harry Met Sally,” which follows the ups and downs of two people who meet in college, then drift apart and cross paths over many years to follow, before realizing they were made for each other. At the end of the film, we see them sitting side-by-side, talking to the camera.

“The first time we met, we hated each other,” Harry says. “No, you didn’t hate me, I hated you. The second time we met, you didn’t even remember me,” Sally replies. “I did too, I remembered you. The third time we met, we became friends,” notes Harry.

“We were friends for a long time,” Sally remembers. “And then we weren’t,” Harry reminds her. “And then we fell in love…three months later we got married,” Sally sighs. “Yeah,” Harry says. “It only took three months.” To which Sally corrects him, saying, “Twelve years and three months.”

You never know how or when or why that one special “who” will arrive. But when she does, you’d be nuts to let her go. I’m living proof, but you don’t have to take my word for it. Check out these other testimonials.

In his wonderful biography of the late Apple CEO Steve Jobs, Walter Isaacson reports on a visit to Jobs, who was near the end of his life at the time, by his longtime rival and occasional friend, Bill Gates of Microsoft. Isaacson writes: “They talked a lot about the joys of family, including how lucky they were to have good kids and be married to the right women. ‘We laughed about how fortunate it was that he met Laurene, and she’s kept him semi-sane, and I met Melinda, and she’s kept me semi-sane,’ Gates recalled.”

It’s not very hard to believe that it would take two such strong-willed, brilliant, loving, patient, BS-resistant women to corral the colossal brainpower and Herculean egos of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, to create safe havens of love, support, and accountability on the home front. Those ladies have never received the credit due to them.

Then there’s the incredible story of Chuck Noll, the late head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. As described in “Chuck Noll: His Life’s Work” by biographer Michael MacCambridge, Noll had been plagued since childhood with a mild form of epilepsy, and during his days in youth and high school football, he would occasionally experience seizures. Noll earned a tryout at Notre Dame to play football there, but once head coach Frank Leahy witnessed one of those seizures, Noll was sent home to Cleveland on the next bus out of South Bend.

Before long, Noll met the girl who would be his wife of more than 50 years before his passing. But here’s an interesting fact about that fateful meeting – from the day he met Marianne, Chuck Noll never suffered another epileptic seizure for the rest of his life. Coincidence? I doubt it. He’d found the right girl.

On this Valentine’s Day, every guy who has found the right girl needs to shower her with love and appreciation. Guys still waiting to find her, fear not – she’s out there, and your day will come. The right girl makes all the difference, in all ways, on all days. She deserves our best effort to make her life easier, happier, safer, more comfortable. Anything less just won’t do – something to remember, as the quote from earlier is repeated here, but with the final line included this time.

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

Fellows, you have 48 hours. Don’t let her down. Happy Valentine’s Day!